sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
