I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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