I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
