i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize