Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
