Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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