oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
it's great music for shaving your balls
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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