you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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