Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
