are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
