While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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