I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
