she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Also, beer. Big fan.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
