never play flip cup with pint glasses
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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