You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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