Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
