I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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