ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
