i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
