After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
