So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
