Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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