420 ftw
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she pinky promised me she was 18
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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