He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
