You're completely useless in the revolution.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am spending my child support on dildos
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
