South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
