first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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