The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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