So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Please don't give away my fajitas
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