Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
