i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
