I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
