The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You pole danced in your parka.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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