He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
