Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
false alarm, still single
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