My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
don't judge my taste in strippers
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
