She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
