Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
