i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
