Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
