whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
