Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
