my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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