non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
