Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
