Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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