Just fell off a train. Bad.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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