K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
