This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Rumble strips road head = magical
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
