When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
