Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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