words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
